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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26304847">How The Mighty Fall (in love)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhysiethecompanyman/pseuds/rhysiethecompanyman'>rhysiethecompanyman</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Death Note (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bittersweet Ending, Extended Scene, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Idiots in Love, M/M, Rain, something of a rewrite of l and light's scene in the rain + the stairwell, the summary is bad but the story is pretty alright trust me</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 09:06:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,293</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26304847</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhysiethecompanyman/pseuds/rhysiethecompanyman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>L stands out in the downpour, listening as the bells seem to echo all around him. He's cold, he thinks, but it's not from the rain. Rather, it's this feeling; icy and piercing as it extends ever outward from his core. It has him thinking quite a lot, more than he usually does. About the case, about himself...</p><p>About Light.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>L/Yagami Light</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>173</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>How The Mighty Fall (in love)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i am having so many emotions about lawlight every single day of my life</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em>“Have you ever felt a potential love for someone?</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Like, you don’t actually love them and you know you don’t, but you know you could. You realize that you could easily fall in love with them. It’s almost like the bud of a flower, ready to blossom but it’s just not quite there yet. And you like them a lot, you really do. You think about them often, but you don’t love them. You could, though. You know you could.”</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> -Anonymous</em>
</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">It’s pride, L thinks at first. Fragmented,shattered pride. Pieces scattered throughout his mind like a glass broken on a tabletop. Sharp; cold.</p><p class="p1">Painful.</p><p class="p1">It’s hurting him, he thinks. That sting he feels deep in his chest, it’s his pride piercing his very core.</p><p class="p1">He’d been wrong from the start, after all. What else could cause him to feel like this? It was pathetic, truly. One incorrect deduction and it was over? Just like that he was left purposeless, with only a sorrowful, harrowing feeling in it’s place?</p><p class="p1">But, that wasn’t it, was it? It couldn’t have been. Perhaps he wasn’t used to being wrong, and perhaps he was irritated by it, but he didn’t give up so easily. He wouldn’t.</p><p class="p1">L was stubborn, anyone could have told you that.</p><p class="p1">The chiming of the church bell echoes all around him as he makes his way up the stairs. It’s quite loud today. Louder than usual. He wonders why that is. He can hear the endless pattering of raindrops against the window panes as L wanders up, up, and up until he reaches the door.</p><p class="p1">He’s outside, standing on the rooftop. The rain is louder now, but so is the bell. It’s so clear, he almost wonders if it’s actually raining at all. He reaches out from beneath the small awning protecting him from the onslaught of the storm, and droplets hit his palm in an instant, because of course they do. It’d be foolish of him to think otherwise. He draws his hand back again, and turns his gaze upward. The darkened sky and the chill in the air should be his cue to turn away. Head back downstairs and delve headfirst into his work, the way he always does, but L doesn’t turn back. He continues to watch the rain fall for a few moments longer, before he walks forward.</p><p class="p1"><em>It’s cold,</em> he thinks, but doesn’t stop walking. The icy rain running down his skin in rivulets doesn’t feel much different than the hollow sting in his chest, somewhat distracting but hardly as bothersome. <em>Why does that feeling persist?</em> He wonders as he continues to gaze up at the clouds. <em>What could it mean?</em></p><p class="p1">He isn’t sure how long he stands there before he realizes he isn’t alone anymore, the feeling of eyes on him is unmistakable. L looks away from the sky and to the doorway. Standing across the rooftop and under the awning, sheltering himself from the rain he sees him. Light Yagami, of course.</p><p class="p1">He didn’t expect anyone else.</p><p class="p1">Neither of them move, seeming content to stare at one another for the moment. Even as the rain pours around them, and the bell tolls on.</p><p class="p1">Light opens his mouth eventually, calling out to him, but L can’t make it out through the monotonous droning of the raindrops against the roof. He tilts his head slightly to the side, and his hair falls from his ear as he brings his hand up beside his head, leaning a little further toward Light.</p><p class="p1">He calls out to L again, louder now, though he can still barely make out the sound of his voice through the noise. L leans in further, hand still cupped around his ear.</p><p class="p1">Light looks annoyed as he brings brings both hands up and around his mouth. He shouts this time, and L thinks he can just make out what he’s said this time, but-...</p><p class="p1">He can’t seem to help the almost mischievous smile that crosses his face when he leans toward Light again, seeing him huff indignantly even through the rain.</p><p class="p1">He eventually walks out from beneath the awning with an irritated glint behind those amber eyes, meeting L amidst pouring rain.</p><p class="p1">“Ryuzaki,” he says as he reaches L’s side. “What are you doing out here?”</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">Light had ushered him back inside shortly after their conversation, leaving L to sit on the staircase just beyond the rooftop door as he ventured off to find them towels. Wherever he might get them, L didn’t know; maybe Light told him, but he hadn’t really been listening. He hadn’t even looked in Light’s direction when he sat him down here on the steps, too busy staring at the rain they’d left behind from the window. L seemed adrift in the harbor of his own mind, puzzling over his own emotions; the one thing he never could truly decipher with perfect clarity, especially in recent months.</p><p class="p1">He wonders why it suddenly matters, anyway, the way he feels right now. He’d never bothered with it before; enough casework could distract L from just about anything, but... not now. Not in this moment, with the endless tolling of the bell so loud in his ears.</p><p class="p1">Maybe it rings for a funeral.</p><p class="p1">Light is back soon enough, soft footsteps signifying his approach, even as L continues to watch the rain. “Here.” He leans forward, draping a towel over L’s drenched head. The action seems to break him out of his trance, for now. L looks up at him, the soft glow of the lights hanging above them reflect off of his wet hair. For a moment, it looks like a halo.</p><p class="p1">That icy pain that pierces L’s chest makes him feel as though he’d stepped back out in the storm.</p><p class="p1">“You should dry off,” Light says, and L nods silently, though he doesn’t move, looking down at his own lap. Light moves to sit beside him.</p><p class="p1">It was pride, L thought, but now he isn’t so sure.</p><p class="p1">They stay there in silence for a while longer as Light begins to dry himself, running the towel over his face and through his hair, sighing softly as he withdraws it and moves to his neck. L watches him attentively, in a way he might have called studying if not for the fact that he doesn’t seem to be retaining anything so far. He simply stares, searching for something he can’t quite place.</p><p class="p1">He doesn’t know why.<br/>
<br/>
L eventually stands when Light moves to toe off his shoes, walking a short distance away and finally making a move to dry himself somewhat, toweling off his hair with two hands for a short few seconds. He glances back up toward the windows where the rain continues to fall. “Well,” he says finally, breaking his silence at last. “That was certainly an unpleasant outing.”<br/>
<br/>
“It’s your own fault,” Light replies in that matter-of-fact, perhaps contemptuous way of his, not turning to face L as he continues to dry off. “I mean, what did you expect?”<br/>
<br/>
“…You’re right,” L says, turning to see Light move the towel back to his jaw. He looks tense, clearly carrying the stress of all the trouble L had caused him. Not just from today’s antics. “Sorry.” It’s not a sight L was unused to seeing from Light, shoulders taught and head held high, the weight of a guilty conscience blatantly apparent in his every careful move but… it bothered him, somehow. The Kira case felt so distant, in this moment. Almost like a dream. As if none of it really mattered, right now.<br/>
<br/>
The bell tolls on.<br/>
<br/>
He’s moving before he really thinks about it, pulling the towel from his head and climbing down the staircase; crouching beside Light’s feet. L reaches, fingers curling around Light’s ankle, only to have it jerked out of his grasp not a moment sooner. He looks up, finding Light staring back at him, owlish and bewildered.</p><p class="p1">Now <em>that</em> was a unique expression for him. It was almost funny, seeing Light look so taken aback; someone typically so perfectly composed. Light, who took everything in stride and hid just about everything behind that mask of his; to telegraph his emotions so openly was... uncharacteristically authentic.</p><p class="p1">“W-...What are you doing?!” Light asks him, sounding just as confused as he looks. L pauses for a moment, glancing downward at his empty hand, still hovering midair where Light had pulled his leg away.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>What am I doing?</em>
</p><p class="p1">“I-... thought I might help you out,” L replies, because it’s the only thing he can think of that might have made any sense to somebody else. He turns his gaze back up toward Light, “You were busy wiping yourself off, anyway.”</p><p class="p1">Light certainly doesn’t seem any more convinced by his response, “Look, i-it’s fine, you don’t have to do that-!“ His arms brace either side of the step he’s sitting on, moving to push himself upward. Or backward, L doesn’t really have any time to register which.</p><p class="p1">He’s leaning again, sitting up higher, nearly feeling possessed. “I can give you a massage as well...!” He says, insistent for a reason he can’t seem to grasp. He’s inches from Light’s face, though Light isn’t looking at him anymore; L follows his gaze downward. It’s only then he realizes he’d placed his hand on Light’s knee when he’d risen, as if holding him in place. He lets go quickly, as if he’d been burned. He hadn’t meant to do that. At least, not consciously, he’d just-... just...</p><p class="p1">...He didn’t know.</p><p class="p1">He moves away once again, acutely aware of how intently Light is watching him now. He sits back down at his feet. “...It’s the least I can do to atone for my sins,” L says, voice softer than he could ever remember it being. “I’m actually pretty good at this.”</p><p class="p1">Light stares at him for a long while after that, the silence that only lasted for a few seconds feeling as if it drags on for eons. Finally, he turns his head away, apparently finding the wall beside him inordinately fascinating. He speaks softly, as if he didn’t want L to hear him, but of course he does. “Fine. Do what you want.”</p><p class="p1">L can’t see Light’s face from where he sits, so he can’t read his expression, but the edge of his ear slips through the curtain of burgundy hair, tinted a faint pink.</p><p class="p1">Strange.</p><p class="p1">Nonetheless, with Light’s blessing, L nods, reaching out again and taking Light’s ankle in hand once more, “Alright.” He’s more mindful now as he gently draws Light’s leg toward him, opposite hand coming up. The towel is draped over his palm as he grasps Light’s foot, catching the arch between his thumb and first two fingers. He applies pressure, just beyond the edge of too tight as he squeezes. Light makes a soft, uncomfortable sound above him.</p><p class="p1">“Ah...! Hey-!“</p><p class="p1">“You’ll get used to it,” L replies, though he loosens his grip minutely. He’s nervous, he realizes, to his own surprise. He’s nervous; that’s why he’d slipped like that. Something about this moment... it’s different. Still, L doesn’t say anything more, setting to work at the task he’s created for himself. Light’s gaze is on him the entire time, he can feel it. It’s revealing in a way he isn’t familiar with.</p><p class="p1">Rainwater drips from the ends of L’s unruly hair, hitting Light’s exposed ankle just above where L had taken hold. He doesn’t notice, but Light does. He hears shuffling above him, and then Light is reaching out toward him. A towel presses gently against his forehead before L can look up to see what he’s doing. “Here,” Light says, and his voice gentle, so much so that L almost doesn’t believe it’s Light, though he knows it couldn’t have been anyone else. The soft, albeit somewhat damp fabric of the towel brushes across his bangs as Light moves his hand over his forehead, carefully wiping the droplets away. L’s mind stutters, hands freezing where they’d settled. He doesn’t move, he doesn’t even blink. Light speaks again, though L can hardly hear him over the sound of his own heartbeat in his ears, “You’re still soaked...”</p><p class="p1">The towel is gone just as soon as it had come, but L can still feel it linger against his skin, tingling in a way he couldn’t dream of comparing to anything else. He looks up from where he’s sitting, and his gaze falls upon Light’s own; his face is still rosy. “I’m sorry,” L says, voice barely above a whisper, though he isn’t really sure what he’s apologizing for. Silence passes between them for a few moments, before Light smiles down at him, soft and genuine.</p><p class="p1">That’s when it hits him. Striking like a bolt of lightning, L understands. This pain in his chest; that icy cold feeling that seemed to be spreading throughout him, and Light. All at once, he understood everything. He’d been wrong from the start. That feeling, it wasn’t pride.</p><p class="p1">It was loneliness.</p><p class="p1">The staring; studying Light, tracing each line of his face with his eyes, as if committing every detail to memory, from the curve of his nose to the edge of his jaw. The way L had moved, reaching out to help Light dry off without really thinking, and the panic that gripped him when he started to shift away. The insistence on doing so, as if to keep him close if only for a moment longer.</p><p class="p1">Almost funny, really; his isolation had always been L’s most valuable asset, and in fact he’d rather missed it sometimes. Being alone, it had it’s pleasantries: No one to stare at him, no one to comment on his (admittedly) eccentric behavior, no one to say anything redundant or annoying. L didn’t have to tolerate anyone at all.<br/>
<br/>
But it was different with Light, wasn’t it? He wasn’t simply tolerating his presence, he’d come to realize. L wasn’t walking over Light on his path to success. In fact, Light could keep up; matching every step L ever took. Light Yagami, who had become more than just another face among the masses he’d utilized to secure yet another victory. Light Yagami, who’d reached out to L, drew him from that shell he’d built so carefully around himself. Light Yagami: his ally and his enemy, his equal and his rival, his suspect and his-…</p><p class="p1">…<br/>
<br/>
Yes, it was funny. Funny that L had never really noticed how alone he truly was until he was once again thrust back toward that stifling cold.<br/>
<br/>
It’s almost difficult to process, this sudden revelation, but L can see no alternative. With the case slowly reaching it’s close, Light would be leaving soon.</p><p class="p1">And L didn’t want him to go.</p><p class="p1">L moves without breaking Light’s gaze, pushing himself up and forward. His leg lifts and his knee lowers to the step between both of Light’s, settling his weight there. Both hands raised, he reaches out. He isn’t thinking anymore, he doesn’t recognize the consequences of what he’s about to do. It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t want to be alone. With one hand on either side of Light’s face, he’s leaning in before he can allow himself hesitate.</p><p class="p1">L kisses him.</p><p class="p1">It’s a gentle thing. Soft. Barely a brush of lips, but it’s enough. Enough to make L feel warm all over for just an instant before he leans away again.</p><p class="p1">Light is staring at him when L opens his eyes, cheeks a vibrant red that feels hot beneath his palms. Light’s shoulders are stiff; his eyes wide open, not unlike when L had taken hold of his leg earlier.</p><p class="p1">There’s a twist of anxiety in his gut as he takes in Light’s stunned expression, and L lets him go, hands retracting quickly as his mind finally catches up to his body. “Light, I-...“ His voice is uneven. That had been stupid. Stupid, stupid, <em>stupid. </em>He shouldn’t have let his emotions run away with him. He’d made a mistake, misread Light’s kindness as reciprocation, and now he was going to lose him. Light couldn’t forgive him for this. He wouldn’t. “I’m sor-“</p><p class="p1">L feels the fingers curl into his shirt collar before he registers seeing them, and he’s being dragged forward again. He isn’t entirely certain of what’s happening, half expecting to be punched until Light’s lips come to meet his own.</p><p class="p1">A few seconds of startled, frozen silence pass before L practically melts against him.</p><p class="p1">The kiss is chaste and yet somehow demanding in a way only Light could possibly be, heating L from the inside out as he allows himself to follow Light’s lead. Light still has the front of his shirt gripped in his hand, and L’s arms have draped themselves across Light’s shoulders. He doesn’t know how long they stay like that, but as that chill in his core gradually ebbs away, he can’t bring himself to be too bothered by it.<br/>
<br/>
Light is the first one to pull away, breathing uneven, cheeks flushed, fingers still twisted into L’s shirt. He’s staring at him with a vibrant energy behind his eyes he didn’t think he’d ever seen before. He didn’t seem so robotic, like this. That cool, collected calculation he always seemed to have on hand nowhere to be found. This moment felt startlingly, undoubtedly <em>human</em>.<br/>
<br/>
For both of them.<br/>
<br/>
Neither one speaks as they stare at one another; Light doesn’t let go of his shirt, and so L doesn’t let go of his shoulders. He notes idly that their breathing has linedup. That and the falling of the rain outside are the only sounds to be heard in the room for a short while.<br/>
<br/>
Inevitably, L finds his voice. He speaks softly, fingers bunching up the fabric on either side of Light’s shoulders, “It’ll be lonely, won’t it…?”<br/>
<br/>
Light blinks at him, as if attempting to snap out of a trance, but he can’t quite make it. His grip on L’s shirt loosens, and confusion crosses his face, “Huh?”<br/>
<br/>
L almost laughs at how ineloquent the noise was, especially coming from someone like Light. He doesn’t, but the corners of his lips twitch upward nonetheless. It’s a sorrowful, pitiful looking-thing, he imagines. “You and I will be parting ways soon.”<br/>
<br/>
Light’s expression changes, then. Slowly; from a dizzied befuddlement to something almost akin to shock. Shock and something else L can’t quite describe. Something darker and much more tormented. Torn would be the word he would use, if L had to venture a guess. He doesn’t comment on it.<br/>
<br/>
L moves, then, hands slipping from Light’s shoulder as he begins to bring himself up to his feet, only to stop short barely an inch off from where he’d started.<br/>
<br/>
Light had moved too, his hands moving faster than L could really process at the moment and holding him in place. Arms soon wrap themselves around L’s torso, bringing him back down against Light with a startling amount of force. L is too stunned to really say anything at first as Light buries his face against his shoulder, though as he flounders a bit with his own grip, his words come back to him, “Light?”<br/>
<br/>
“Stay.”<br/>
<br/>
It’s the first thing he’s said for some time.<br/>
<br/>
“I-… we can’t. The task force-“<br/>
<br/>
“<em>Stay</em>,” Light says again. His voice is barely above a whisper, “Please<em>.</em>” His grip tightens against L the slightest fraction. Imperceptible to anyone else, but Light would have known he’d notice.<br/>
<br/>
L doesn’t speak for a long time, nor does he move, but eventually he settles down. He leans into Light, hands finally finding their place on either side of his waist. Maybe this wasn’t the greatest idea he’d ever had, but he stays.</p><p class="p1">He stays, and everything feels warm.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hmu on tumblr or insta @rhysiethecompanyman</p></blockquote></div></div>
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